Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
