do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
my poor anus
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
