I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
