Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Drunk walkin through police station. America
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
