If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
