woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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