it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
