It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
