I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
