The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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