man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
