i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
