Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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