Umm I'm too high to move.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
