FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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