So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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