love makes seman taste better
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
