So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
