Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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