My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wish my penis had a tongue
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
