I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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