You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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