I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
no you cant smoke seaweed
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
