i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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