By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
