So drunk its hurt
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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