Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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