You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's just like the Real World with babies
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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