They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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