Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
