have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
