In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
