I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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