I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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