why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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