I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
