i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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