his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found puke in my bra..
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
