Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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