we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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