yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
