I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
