you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
