THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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