I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my poor anus
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
