went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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