How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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