oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
