I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I think I just sharted jello shots
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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