she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
