Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
